High Schooled

When I was in high school I drove a hot rod.

It was a blue ‘68 Ford Mustang with racing stripes down the sides – and boy was it loud. The guy I bought it from must not have had money for full length tailpipes, because those things ended about half way back.

At the end of the short pipes was a modest pair of mufflers. Well, technically they were mufflers, but I’m here to tell you muffling was not their strong suit. It was so bad that I’d usually shut the car down as I approached my street and coast all the way to the driveway. Continue reading →


God and Country


I was in the Air Force at the time, stationed in Washington, D.C. I served as part of a security detail that stood guard for the Secretary of Defense. At the time the SecDef was Caspar Weinberger, and my job was to stand at the entrance to his office and only allow in those I recognized or those who had correct ID.

The chances of unauthorized personnel being that deep in the Pentagon and trying to enter the SecDef’s office were pretty slim, so, in reality, my position was largely ceremonial. I was basically a tall guy in a dark uniform wearing a gun. I think this was meant mostly to convey that the office you were about to walk into belonged to a very important fellow. Continue reading →

Are You Here to Pick Up or Drop Off?

I can always find something I want at the Goodwill store.

Have you noticed there’s usually an item that catches your eye at Goodwill? I think it’s because most of their stuff reminds us of something we used to have. Maybe it’s an old Mr. Coffee which looks just like the one that always made your morning better. Or maybe it’s a jacket that’s reminiscent of a really warm coat you wish you hadn’t parted with.

A few years ago I was in a Goodwill store when I saw a desk I fell for immediately. It was sort of like a desk I’d had before, only better. Its color was a warm shade of cherry. Its lines were beautiful. And it was so big that its presence was, well, striking. Continue reading →

How online dating is different for men than women

This is something I wrote about a year ago – back when I did an online dating advice column in the newspaper. It addresses the different ways in which men and women go about relationships, and the frustrations they can lead to.

But the news isn’t all bad – the solutions are pretty easy once you get what’s really going on… Continue reading →

The Color of my Memories

Gold is the color of my memories

They’re in soft focus, tinged in orange

And they smell of sage and honeysuckle

I go there a lot, more than I should

But I’m comfortable there, because I know what happens

There are no trick endings, plot twists or uncertainties

I know how everything turns out

But not everything turns out

Some of my memories aren’t finished yet

Maybe I can still make those ones turn out

Make them turn out gold, with a tinge of orange, smelling of sage and honeysuckle

American Renaissance

It’s September, 2024 and the political conventions have just started up again.

I say conventions like there are more than one that matters – technically there are actually two, though it’s been a while since I’ve talked to anybody who admits watching the other one (for anything more than entertainment value). When I say the “other one” I’m of course referring to the Demican Convention.

The Demican Party has slipped so far in recent years that they rate somewhere between watching old reality show reruns and stubbing your toe. I think it’s funny that we now count them as one party when everyone knows they’re still kind of two parties – two parties that had to become bedfellows because individually they were growing irrelevant. Continue reading →

Napa Whines

Napa, California has more sirens than any city I’ve ever lived in.

And that includes some pretty big cities – like Washington DC and San Diego and San Jose. And while that statement might not be the truest thing I’ve said today it feels right to say it. Kind of like when you’re mad and you make huge, sweeping generalities because, well, because you’re mad. Continue reading →