I hate my girlfriend’s dog.
I’m a guy – you could even say a guy’s guy. I’m not exactly clear on the origin of that saying, but I’m pretty sure it means that I’m a little scruffy and rough around the edges and it in no way implies that I am a guy who belongs to another guy – not that there’s anything wrong with that – it’s just that, oh wait, where was I?
Oh yeah, I hate my girlfriend’s dog.
It’s this super ugly little chihuahua with huge googly bug eyes and crooked snaggly teeth, some of which fly out when it sneezes.
Well, hate’s a pretty strong word… maybe I just deeply dislike her. Wait, that’s not right either, I mean she is kinda sweet and all. She likes to crawl up beside me when I’m on the couch and curl up. And it is sorta cute when she does that. I mean cute for a dog, I guess. It wouldn’t be so cute for a cat ‘cause cats do that all the time – but a dog? Dogs are too big to do that – except for this little chihuahua, which is why I guess it’s so cute.
You know she actually is kind of a cool little dog and all. I wouldn’t be so into a cat curling up beside me.
‘Cause I hate cats…