Monthly Archives: March 2013

Sabatino’s Review

The latest book review is in…

Thanks to the amazing Sabatino!

Review (as posted on hotcupoflove.com):

In the fall of 2011 my wife left me.

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Little did I know that around that same time, a man from across the country was struggling with the same demons I was encountering in my own life.  Being men, and naturally wired to view relationships a certain way, we both set out to fix what had now come undone the best way we thought we knew how- online dating, though, this is where our paths deviate.

That man was John P. Gavin, and while I was attempting to tirelessly solve the rubik’s cube that I had hoped would reveal some secret understanding of how women view relationships, he was busy living it, documenting it, and putting it in to practice.  John’s book, Online Dating Sucks…but it’s how I fell in love, chronicles his journey from divorce, to dating, and eventually falling in love all the while serving as a Rosetta Stone for women looking to decode the male psyche.

To say this book challenged the way I view my own pursuit of a partner would be an understatement.  John lays out the differences between men and women, bearing no excuse for the natural progression in which our genders approach love, dating, relationships, and marriage. His in-depth and often inward analysis weaves a delicate web, bridging a chasm left void from centuries of disconnect, and unhinging conventional wisdoms, now outdated.

In Online Dating Sucks…but it’s how I fell in love, John allows his readers to spy on his dating adventures and missteps, allowing access to his personal life as he vulnerably relives the experiences that brought him to this enlightened state of love. Oh, and the woman that could finally reel him in? That’s Loretta, who John now proudly boasts as his girlfriend.

Get an inside look at how the opposite sex thinks and acts when searching for a soul mate. Learn simple rules for dating and how to avoid the pitfalls relationships often fall victim to.  Read one man’s journey from a life shattering divorce, to finding the only one who could capture his heart- and for goodness sakes, be fearless in your search for love.

Online dating sucks, but its how John found Loretta.

(Read more on Sabatino’s site hotcupoflove.com)

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No Comment

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Somebody asked me recently how it is that I can recall, in detail, the events from my life that I write about.

It struck me as an interesting question because I can’t imagine not being able to recall them – I swear it feels like some of them happened just a few days ago.

I don’t know why that is, or how I’m different from others, or whether I’m really that different at all – but stories from my past play out on what seems like a screen in my mind. I can see all the players, and I can see all the events. I can even sometimes look closely and see stuff I missed before.

Is it like that for you? Continue reading

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A Change of Heart (Or how I tried to never meet my Fiancé)

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What did you really like when you were a small child?

For me it was cars. From my earliest memory I recall being fascinated by cars and trucks. My Mom tells me some of my first recognizable words were “Big truck” – which I’d utter whenever I saw, well, a big truck.

Before school I used to sit at the kitchen table and draw cars over and over. If the school system back then had included a course of study in sketching cars I would probably now be a professor emeritus of car drawing.

Instead what I am is a guy who writes insights and advice – which sometimes needs to be amended. But I’m getting ahead of myself – first let me finish my story about a car… Continue reading

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A Love Story

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My Mom and Dad were married for a very long time.

And it can happen – when a man has been married for a long time – that he becomes a bit low key in the ways he shows his wife how special she is to him. After enough years of marriage we guys can misplace our flare for the dramatic, and we can underwhelm when just the opposite is called for.

Upon the approach of my parent’s 40th wedding anniversary I think that might have been where Dad was headed. Not that that would have been an unforgivable thing, just the opposite really. Mom would have been happy with whatever he did – but then she’s like that. She was happy to be married to the man she loved – if he remembered an important date, well, that was icing on the cake. But left to his own devices, Dad’s celebration of their 40th anniversary probably would have included a trip to a restaurant they’d already been to, followed by the presentation of a gift that, while thoughtful, would likely not have been extravagant.

But my sister Colleen had other ideas… Continue reading

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I’m Weird

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I have a secret – my secret is that I’m weird.

My guess is you’re a little weird too.

I’m willing to bet there’s something about you that you don’t want others to know. And the reason you don’t want them to know is because you don’t think they’ll understand.  You’re afraid, at some level, that their lack of understanding will lead them to judge you for your difference. Continue reading

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Dumped

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Have you ever been dumped for someone else?

It makes you question your self-worth. It causes you to wonder whether you’re really the person you’ve been trying to become all these years. It breeds things like self-doubt, and second guessing.

It sucks.

And it’s not only done between a man and a woman – I’m a guy, and I’ve been dumped by a guy. But let me back up a minute so that you get the whole story. Continue reading

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Facebook made me a Liar

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I’m going to unfriend you.

I’m sorry, and I don’t mean anything by it, but, well, you’re not really my friend.

The truth is I don’t actually know you. Not only have I not met you but I’ve never even spoken with you on the phone.  And I’ve certainly never been over to your place – in fact I’m not exactly sure what state – or country – your place is in, specifically.

So how did you and I get here? Things had been going so well hadn’t they? When you sent me that friend request about six months back I thought “Sure, what the hey?” I have no idea who this person is, or how they found me, or why they want to be associated with me, or if they live in a prison, or if they’re actually my crazy ex-girlfriend posing as somebody else again, but why not add them as a “friend”? Continue reading

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