Category Archives: Humor

I hate my girlfriend’s dog

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I hate my girlfriend’s dog.

I’m a guy – you could even say a guy’s guy. I’m not exactly clear on the origin of that saying, but I’m pretty sure it means that I’m a little scruffy and rough around the edges and it in no way implies that I am a guy who belongs to another guy – not that there’s anything wrong with that – it’s just that, oh wait, where was I?

Oh yeah, I hate my girlfriend’s dog.

It’s this super ugly little chihuahua with huge googly bug eyes and crooked snaggly teeth, some of which fly out when it sneezes.

Well, hate’s a pretty strong word… maybe I just deeply dislike her. Wait, that’s not right either, I mean she is kinda sweet and all. She likes to crawl up beside me when I’m on the couch and curl up. And it is sorta cute when she does that. I mean cute for a dog, I guess. It wouldn’t be so cute for a cat ‘cause cats do that all the time – but a dog? Dogs are too big to do that – except for this little chihuahua, which is why I guess it’s so cute.

You know she actually is kind of a cool little dog and all. I wouldn’t be so into a cat curling up beside me.

‘Cause I hate cats…

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I’m a Really Good Dad

I like to think of myself as a good dad.

I try to do the right things when it comes to my two sons. I try to protect them where needed, and let them learn the hard lessons first hand when possible. I give them good advice – or as good as I can come up with on the spot – and try to be there when they need a helping hand, or maybe just a sympathetic ear.

I am now actually a pretty good father, but I have to admit that it took me a while to get here – 19 and 21 years to be exact. Those are the ages of my boys, and when those numbers were smaller I, well, wasn’t quite the skilled parent I am now. In fact there was a time when I wasn’t too smooth at this gig at all. Continue reading

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Napa Whines

Napa, California has more sirens than any city I’ve ever lived in.

And that includes some pretty big cities – like Washington DC and San Diego and San Jose. And while that statement might not be the truest thing I’ve said today it feels right to say it. Kind of like when you’re mad and you make huge, sweeping generalities because, well, because you’re mad. Continue reading

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Secret Life of Boys

When I was little I traveled to Ireland every few years or so.
My parents are from Ireland and took me and my brother and sisters back there during summers to stay with our grandparents. One morning, at Grandma Tierney’s house in Tipperary, my brother Brian and I decided to head down the fields in search of adventure. At the time I would have been about 12 and Brian maybe 10 or so. Continue reading

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A Stab at Friendship

I once stabbed a man through the foot.

And the worst part of it was – well the worst part for me, for him the worst part was the actual getting stabbed through the foot part – the worst part of it for me was he was a friend of mine.

Have you ever done something you didn’t mean to, but you did it anyway, and the outcome was so crappy you wish you hadn’t done it – and you almost sort of pretend, at times, that you maybe didn’t do it, or try to forget the fact that you actually did do it? Continue reading

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I Was Afraid to Write this Column

The kids in the neighborhood I grew up in had a certain fearlessness about them.

Well most of them did – there was this one kid named Shawn Reilly who seemed to be afraid of everything. And because fear was such a big part of his daily life it kind of set him apart from the other kids. In fact even now when I think about the kids in the old neighborhood his face doesn’t always pop up. He was a bit player. Sort of like a lesser character in a favorite movie of yours – you don’t always remember right away that he was even in it. Continue reading

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Bridges are easier to cross when they’re not on fire

 

Did you ever burn a bridge?

I’ve burned a few in my time. One such instance was set in motion on a November morning back in 2008. I was working for a company called LP Building Products – I was a sales rep for them – and my job was to sell building materials to home builders in California. You may recall that 2008 was the year that the housing bust was reaching epic proportions.

That November morning started with me receiving a phone call from my immediate supervisor – who explained that a representative from Human Resources would also be joining the conversation. It was about then I gathered we would not be having one of our usual light hearted chats. Continue reading

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