I have a problem with Christianity.
It’s not a huge problem, you know, like a life altering one. But it’s not a small problem either – not really one I’m gonna get over.
My problem with Christianity is this: It’s coercive.
The reason I’m not going to be able to get over my problem is that coercion – being pressured into doing what someone else wants you to do – is something I’ve never really been tolerant of.
Which is an irony because Christianity is, for the most part, intolerant of non-believers like me.
So apparently I’m intolerant of intolerance.
If I don’t live my life the way Christianity says I’m supposed to then, according its edicts, I go to hell. I don’t pass go, I don’t collect $200 – I just go straight to Hell.
And why’s that scary enough to coerce me into acquiescing? Well I guess because Hell is an eternity spent in fire and brimstone. Though I can’t really comprehend an eternity spent in fire – actually I can’t really comprehend “an eternity” period, fire or no fire.
And “brimstone”? What is brimstone, please? It doesn’t sound all that scary – in fact it sounds like, well, a village in England – you know, one with cobblestone streets and a little ice cream shop in the square. And maybe a pub or two where you can hoist a pint of beer.
Which is good, because a cold beer’s gonna come in pretty handy during my eternity in Hell.